i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
where are my eyebrows?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
