I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize