he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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