i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
