I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
