Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
