Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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