butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
