pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
you told grandpa to call you daddy
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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