Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
