im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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