guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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