Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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