i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
