the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize