Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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