he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
