thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Randomize
