is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
