don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
