Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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