Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
