the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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