I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
