like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize