dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
