Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
