so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
