i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
