so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
