dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
