I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
