i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
