Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
