Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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