i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize