actually, I'm a sock model
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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