whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
