Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize