She announced her abortion via fbk
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
