I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
How drunk are you?
Completed.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
