Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
