is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
