i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
