Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
