You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
