He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
