the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
