South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
