Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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