If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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