I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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