My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
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