Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
