:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
