yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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