I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
