he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Randomize
