So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
