Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
