He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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