i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
