Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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