dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
