saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize